So with Spring upon me, I’m finding it hard to find the “Spring” in my step when it’s snowing and raining outside. Rain, rain, go away…right? Well, I decided to think about how it’s not so bad after all…I noticed the tulips outside my house. They're trying so hard to push through the soil, only to be trodden by the snow for days. Well, isn’t that like life? But I know they will keep on. It made me smile. Then I got in my car and decided to turn the radio up to the top volume and sing Taylor Swift songs (Go ahead and make fun of me; I'm a teeny bopper) at the top of my lungs. Thomas was laughing so hard insisting I do it again. Of course I gave my star cheerleading performance for him, smiles and all. I realized how happy it made me. So many little things can lift the soul. Here are some other things I’m grateful for and make me happy today, despite the lack of signs of spring…

• · Good toilet paper. I hate the stuff at stores. You need like 35 squares. I like having my stuff at home. And one day, I can afford to buy the fancy stuff that feels like pillows on my butt!

• · Velcro on Tommy's shoes. His converse has Velcro. They don’t look like handicap kids shoes or anything, but they make life easier.

• · Good pillows and bedding. I LOVE my bed.

• · Shoes. I have crappy bunions, and have resided to the fact that I no longer can walk around in cute high heels chasing a 3 year old. I have fallen in love with the UGLIEST shoes on the planet…shoes you only see hippies and old people who need orthotics wear…Dansko clogs. I swore I would never be seen in public in ugly shoes, yet its all I wear now. I got these for Christmas. It’s all I got cause they cost an arm and a leg.

• · Perfume. I love smelling good. I love smelly things.

• · Diet coke of course…which I will be cutting back on…three 44 oz. a day just isn’t right.

• · Free utilities (included in rent) at my apartment. Crank up the heat!

• · Baths. I take a bath almost every night with salts and relax. Some say that’s weird. I say necessary.

• · FRIENDS.

• · A husband who is AMAZING…hot, sweet, SMART, thoughtful, funny. And the best father a kid could ever ask for.
  

• · A dishwasher, I hate doing dishes by hand.
  
• Diapers..disposable. I couldn't do cloth...washing and drying. Or like the old days, washing and hanging them to dry. We are blessed!
  

• · Scotch tape…ever thought what we would do without tape?

• · Movies…Anything that takes me away. Namely, Anne of Green Gables, Pride and Prejudice, and chick flicks.

• · Automatic locks on my car.

• · My Vacuum. I have to vacuum everyday, and if I had a crappy one (I did) you notice. I love my new one. I appreciate how good it is now!

• · Music- it can lift my mood and calm me, and make a party!

• · Medicine- Keeps me working.

• · Thomas- my biggest blessing and challenge some days. My constant companion for the next 15 years, the little voice who is always calling me, and the one who always brings me to realize how lucky I am his mom.

• · Cell phone- what did we ever do without them? What did our parents do??

• · Pajamas- I have a collection of them.
• Frozen yogurt- Yum!
• Fresh Flowers
  

So many things can make me happy in one day or hour. I just gotta sit back and think about it and REALIZE it.

Hard day, and Days ahead.

"Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order to be tested, we must sometimes face challenges and difficulties. At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea "Is there no balm in Gilead?" We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face."
--Thomas S. Monson, "Looking Back and Moving Forward"

Life is full of trials, and we all have them. Today, this quote and this clip gives me comfort.



I count my blessing...I am grateful for my kindred spirit friends who are here for me. Most of of my best friend and partner Robbie. Don't know how I got you. Lets try to laugh through this, or help me to.

My Throw down at Costco...and my realizations about Motherhood

Yesterday, we had our weekly visit to Costco. As most moms know, it can always be a challenge to keep your kids entertained during a shopping trip and strapped into the cart. Tommy is no exception. He was screaming to "walk" and "pweeze get out". I finally gave in, and he was playing hide and seek with me most the trip. Yes, I was frustrated, but we got through it. The lines were terrible, and another young mom got in line behind me. Her cart was blocking some of the passing traffic. She had 3 kids, one 5ish, 3ish, and a new born. She was darling, her, and her children dressed to the tens. Her 3 year old began a tantrum, and the 5 year old wandered off a bit. Next thing you know a person trying to get by says, "If you cant control your kids, tie your tubes"! I gasped. The mom immediately broke into sobs. I had overheard this, but I asked the lady who said this, "excuse me, what did you say"? She replied,
"I said just what everyone else is thinking in their heads right now". I then said,
" No. I don't think anyone is thinking that at all. I think everyone is thinking, 'what can I do to help you out', or 'I have been there before', or 'wow, she is so brave'. No one is thinking what you are thinking. I really hope that you don't have any children with your thinking".
The young mom then yelled through her tears, "How dare you tell me that"!
Next thing I know the manager is there and, as a large circle has formed around us. The angry lady in her mid 30's yells,
"I can say what I want, its a free country! She should"!
I then am told that I need to move the line along by the cashier. I'm happy to get out of the situation, and afraid that I might use some really bad language at any moment that would negate anything good that I just did, or seriously hit this lady. My heart is racing, and I am perplexed that people have the guts and actual thoughts like this woman had. It actually was making me so angry and at the same time making me want to cry. Motherhood is so sacred to me. To me, it is very much a CHOICE. Every moment of every day I choose to be Thomas' mother. I choose to be unselfish, feed him first, dress him first, his needs always before mine. It is what makes me happiest...odd how that happens naturally. Because putting anyone else first usually doesn't make you happy. Sure, it can be hard some days. Some weeks I struggle. But I wanted nothing more to be a mother. I wanted it more than air at one point in my life. Motherhood isn't something that comes or came easy to me...I work at it. Then some days, it flows through me like Ive been doing it all my life and for past lives. Depends on the day.
To ever call someone out on being a mom, or their ability to mother...there is no greater sin in my eyes. I guess only because it is my greatest fear of not being a mother. I suppose its everyone deepest fear. I saw it in the sweet mom when she burst into tears in public when someone said she shouldn't be a mother...her greatest fear actually realized by a stranger. So I guess we really are all the same. No one wants to be judged as a mother...so don't. Don't judge other mothers, and don't judge yourself so harshly. Realize we are all doing our best, and that is enough.