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Monday, March 19, 2012

iPhone Pictures

If you're like Rob and I, most of our life is captured on our iPhones. Yes, we have a very nice camera, and video camera, but the phone is always there to capture the moment. Sometimes I realize that I have so many fun things we've done and the only way I can prove to Tommy one day what great parents we were is to document it. They are always random, but still need to be posted for the lack of scrap booking and photo book skills which I don't possess. Printing the blog is an easy way out, and well, that's perfect for me.

I also find pictures and videos which Tommy captures himself and I don't know they are there until I randomly find them. This is a real treat, and hilarious to us cause we are catching him start to lie a little. He tattles on himself constantly saying he "didn't" do something right after or while he is still doing it. This is great 'cause for some reason he knew it was wrong to take a picture of his butt, and was doing it anyways and telling Rob he "wasn't taking a picture of his bum Daddy". Enjoy.

Tommy loves to dress up. Whomever said girls were the only ones who liked to dress up did not have boys. Tommy's imagination is blossoming, and with it comes so many fun memories. We have a dress up box in his room with things I buy after Halloween clearance, second hand stores, ect. Rob came home from work early the other day, and Tommy asked him to dress up too. I said, "Sweetie, daddy can only dress up as a doctor." Little did I know what Rob had up his sleeve...



Tommy has also had some issues with his eyes lately...like putting things in them. Last week we heard a blood curdling scream from the bath tub. We found him with an empty bottle of shampoo and the rest in his eyes and mouth. We thought he learned his lessons after flushing his eyes with tons of water and eye drops...but no. We found him the next day with a WHOLE bottle of toothpaste in his EYES! Ouch. Rob to the rescue again. Then last Thursday I got a call from the preschool that Tommy had shoved a stick in his eye and needed to go to the ER to make sure he didn't scratch his cornea. Really Kid?? Lay off the eyes. Hes fine luckily, but I'm hoping the lesson has sunk in.


I know that I say this a lot, but really, my husband is a total rock star. He has had to kick in to ultra rock star mode since my pelvis separated. He is always asking to help, do laundry, make beds, and clean. He took Tommy to a family weekend without me, and made sure I rested. As soon as he got home, its not Dr Stoker, its Mr Dad 100%. He's dressing up, taking Tommy and four other 3-year-olds to the zoo and helping me with physical therapy. He's just too great, and I only hope he can hold out for as long as we will need him. He's already doing so much!! Oh, and going to Medical School on the side.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Top 10 Signs Kate is Ready for Marriage


Kate's Dad was digging through some old files today and emailed me a copy of his "Top 10 signs that Kate is Ready for Marriage," which he read at our reception on our wedding day. I hadn't heard them for a long time and and I had other things on my mind at the time, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Here's the Top Ten:

10: Finally confessed to bishop of secred marriage to Ecuadorian Doctor who saved her life

9: Allows Robbie to call her Master and Commander rather than Lord Vader

8: Was recently allowed to drive her own car at the Disneyland Autopia

7: Has cut Diet Coke consumption to tow gallons per day

6: Slowed down her speech so chipmunks can now understand her

5: Now engages in small talk with dad before hitting him up for money

4: Has memorized the recipe for boiling water

3: When driving Montero, no longer refers to pedestrians as "prey"

2: Has changed her college major to math to feel more challenged at the U

And the Top Sign that Kate is Ready for Marriage...


1: No longer arm wrestles in sleazy Provo Bars for quarters

Thanks Tom. We had some great laughs tonight.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Crazy how Im having a baby...


I wonder if it will ever sink in...I'm having another human? I try to think about it, but nope, still feels weird to think about. I'm overwhelmed at the thought, yet it still wont register. Not at all like I'm unaware that I'm pregnant... I'm huge. The kinda huge where I wouldn't recognize myself if I saw me on the streets. My stretch marks are expanding and darkening, making me resemble a zebra. I found out last week in an xray that my pelvis/ pubic synthesis was completely separated, and now get to wear a brace, and have physical therapy 3 times a week so I can walk. I peed 14 times LAST NIGHT...Really, I counted. So, why with it staring at me in the face do I still not grasp the fact that I'm growing an actual person and he is mine, and he will be here in like 9 weeks? I still feel like I'm not an adult some days, barley capable of keeping the human I already grew, alive, and be a good girlfriend to my husband. Ha, I'm guessing it will sink in pretty fast, but for now, I'm just really fat and uncomfortable, and watching a lot of Netflix...while growing a human. Isn't it a miracle?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Friends...

Note to all friends and family,

In case you were wondering if my last post was a suicide note, it wasn't. I'm fine, alive, and chugging along. Really what options do we have? We cry, get angry, and then get over it cause we still have to live lives, take care of family, and ourselves. After a long few days, some help from some friends, I'm not ready to drive away from life...this week.

My best friend sent me this link about the friends in our lives. Being in a place where I have no immediate family really (my side), I've come to make friends my family. I don't intend to stop this happening, as in the upcoming year I'm sure with residency we'll be far away from family. I loved this cause so many faces came to my mind as I read each description. Some of my friends qualified in all categories...I don't know how my world would keep spinning without the friends in my life. You know who you are...

A writer Elizabeth Hill wrote:

In the last 11 years while living in four states, three time zones and five homes I have had a ton of experience making and keeping friends. Across this great continent, Ive observed that I have consistently needed five types of friends to keep me sane and balanced.

First off, I trust your husband is hopefully your friend best friend, even. However, he is not, never will be and never should be your all-in-one everything. No person should ever be burdened with fulfilling your every need, wish and whim for companionship. You will still need other women, both older and younger, to mentor you, serve you and look up to you.

My favorite and dearest friend is the Old Friend variety, who is like your favorite T-shirt: comfy, worn-in and, no matter what your mood, totally appropriate. This Old Friend knows your crazy family history and can write a pamphlet on why you are the way you are and how they like you anyway.

Shes probably seen you in your underwear, heard you sobbing over the phone or held you while you despaired over new-mom woes. You dont have to worry about being far away because, somehow across the miles or around the block, you are still best friends and comfortable in whatever state your friendship is in.

Here's something to note: Sisters make great Old Friends.

Another essential friend is the Deep Friend. Shes the one who is like a therapist, only cheaper and probably happy to eat ice cream with you as you delve into what makes a marriage really groovy.

The Deep Friend is perfectly at peace with dissecting your family background and how that formed the person you are now. She loves discussing the world; religion; and how to have a better, happier and richer life. She is worth her weight in gold or Prozac.

Your Mentor Friend is often the age of an older siblings or even your mother. Even though she might say the same things your mother does, you dont roll your eyes or search for the number to the local mental hospital. It sounds so right and true and a lot less annoying coming from the Mentor Friend. You mother probably sends her a script, but who cares? The Mentor Friend commiserates and validates your concerns.

The Mentor Friend says, Ive been there, without sounding condescending. She watches your children because she misses her own and she makes sure to remind you often to make time for yourself. Sure, she might be slightly outdated when you compare her to all your hipster sisters, but the Mentor is one irreplaceable friend.

A subset of the Mentor Friend is the Younger (Sister) Friend. To her, you are the mentor and the voice of reason when all pooh breaks loose with small children. As the Mentor Friend, you get to share your hard-earned lessons, helping steer the Younger Friend toward the light at the end of the nursing or toddler tunnel. It is insanely rewarding to share the small tidbits of wisdom that someone once delivered to you when you were buried under laundry and sporting under-eye bags the size of Manhattan.

Our next friend is one of my current favorites: the Surprise Friend. Finding this person is like visiting your local thrift store looking for a cool Halloween costume and you find J.Crew pants for $2. Surprise Friends are like sprinkles on the cake of life: colorful and unexpected.

The Surprise Friend is the one you meet at a play group or school meeting and your first reaction is that you have nothing in common and she probably has socks that cost more than your entire wardrobe.

Then you find out, as time goes on, that shes not as shallow or weird as you originally thought and the notion of spending time with her sitting on a park bench watching your children hang by their toes doesnt make you gag or feel like getting a root canal. You find that the Surprise Friend is actually funny. And smart! And not shallow! And shes even willing to share her gold-plated socks!

The last and most-important friend you can have is one that took me many moons to collect. Shes one that many dont realize is a necessity. Its You.

You should be one of your closest friends and no, Dr. Phil did not pay me to say that. I hope that little voice in your head is like a great coach and not the mean girls from 6th grade, inherently critical and smarmy.

Ive trained myself to control my inner dialogue so that when I lose it and holler at one of my children for hitting their sibling (again) my first response is not, Youre a loser mother, but instead, You will do better next time.

Some women still feel this adolescent need to always be with someone, texting someone or planning daily mommy play dates. But its OK to just be to be with yourself and your thoughts and have awkward conversations like:

You: Hi. Self: Hi. You: How ar—” Self: Fine. You: Are you going to work out at th—” Self: Eh, probably not. You: Really? You know how good you feel afterw—” Self: I know. I should... OK, Ill go. You: Awesome! You're gonna lose 10 pounds!

Awkward, yes. Helpful? Double yes.

And though I am a certified extrovert who has a habit of slightly over-sharing and is a lover of people, I think many women need these distinct relationships to make their lives richer and happier.

Are these five friend styles the only ones suitable for sustaining a healthy friend closet? No. Is it necessary to collect friends like charm bracelets? Unless you're in 6th grade, no.

But I do know that it has taken many types of women over many years to help me be a better person, a better mother, a better wife. I need them. I need their wisdom, their laughter and their genuine humanity to rub off on me.